My sister...and the promise of miracles (November 2, 2006)

When I got the call from my mother today...I wasn't expecting it at all. I was talking to my boss and my cell phone rang. I glanced down, noticed it was my mom and answered it (I never let my mom go to voicemail if I am near my phone). Absentmindedly, I muttered "Hey mom, I'm in the middle of something at work. Can I call you right back"? Her answer. "No. Kidney. We are leaving for OH in a few minutes. They have a kidney for your sister." Stunned I said ok and hung up the phone with every emotion I can fathom running through me.

I continued with work. Sent a bulletin and an email asking for prayer. Made some phone calls. And felt an intense fear rush through every nerve in my body.

I'll need to give you some background for this to make sense. My sister Chanda and I are 10 years apart. If you have read My Testimony on my page (yes I know it is long...but well worth the read…God rocks) you will surmise what kind of upbringing we had. The day my sister was born my dad was burying his dad in King George, VA. My mom had to have an emergency C-section but before she went under the knife she asked me to count my sister's fingers and toes and make sure she was healthy when she came out. My parents had 3 miscarriages before Chanda was born so I took my mom's comments literally at that age. When the doctor brought her out and let me hold her I refused to let go until fingers, toes, and health were accounted for. She was and is a miracle.

When she was 12 she got sick and that was the first time I got a phone call that she was dying and that I needed to book a plane ticket. Since that time I have had similar phone calls 4 other times. I don't recommend it to anyone. To this day if my mom calls at an odd time…my heart stops. Chanda was diagnosed with kidney failure that was probably progressing since she was born and it was never caught (Air Force brats...need I say more?). She went from a kid that screamed whenever she was near a needle to someone forced to give herself shots in the stomach and be on dialysis every night in her bedroom. She was sick all the time and missed a lot of school. As a result it was difficult for her to make friends so I became in her own words… her best friend.

She had her first transplant at 14. We were elated. Until 2 years later her body rejected it and she nearly died again. This time the damage was so bad doctors literally had to remove both kidneys. She has been surviving on dialysis every other day for 4 hours for the past few years. Without it. She dies. Certainly not a normal life for a teenager...but a reality for her. She still can't even work because what job will give you 4 hours off per day every other day?

A little over a year ago a series of events happened that shocked us all. Christa had a prophetic dream that my sister would be healed. The next week Candice…a stranger… walked into my moms church and said that God had sent her to donate her kidney to someone. She asked around and met my mom and sister. She was tested and she was a perfect match (which is rare). Then we had a setback. Candice had medical problems that needed taking care of before they would consider her. She has done so and we were just told this week that she is back in the running to donate her kidney to my sister.

Then today we got the phone call that someone else's kidney is ready for my sister.

To say that I am perplexed is an understatement. We have been through so many ups and downs over the years. From getting "the call' that a kidney was available only to find out it wasn't to incredibly painful tear-filled sessions with doctors asking "why" and "what is taking so long". I was tested for over a year and found to be a suitable donor until they found out some distant relative has diabetes and discounted me.

Through it all I have trusted God. I don't know what He is doing in this. But I trust Him.

I left the office for lunch today to pray for my sister, the surgeons, my mother, the nurses etc. I ended up crying buckets of tears, sharing my fears with Him, and singing (literally) His praises. Kristen asked me once if God took my sister would I still trust Him? In thinking about this risky surgery today…even through the tears I still say yes.

Please pray for her. She is my kid sister whose toes I counted and diapers I changed. She is my pillow fight partner. She is the annoying little sister I used to wanna beat. She is my funny bone and such a part of me. She is my example of bravery. I can't imagine my life without her.

Like Tinker and Jesse you guys don't hear me talk about this a lot but it is such a part of me. Constantly. I don't want to harp on how terrible this has been for my family. Because God's mercy and grace have been so much better. We have gotten to see what real love and support is from our family and friends. We have gotten to speak encouragement into other people's lives…even sitting in hospital waiting rooms. And for that I thank God.

This verse from Psalm 42 has been my comfort over the past 2 hours

For deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me"

Although my flesh wants everything in the world to stop turning and everyone to concentrate on my sister right now...I know that God is Soverign...still Holy...and He holds her in His arms. He is refreshing me and washing away my fears with His deep love.

We covet your prayers.

Much love!

Overdue Blog (November 10, 2008)

I am praising God for so many things. For my salvation. For breathing easy. For my amazing friends. For my loving family...and for miracles.

My sister has her kidney! Even though we had a few set backs she is the proud owner of a functioning kidney!

Through all of this I must say I have learned a thing or two about faith.

1) God may not always come when you want Him to… but He is always right on time. We waited for years for this kidney. We cried. We prayed. We fasted. We did everything we could think to do and then in this strange unexpected moment...God shows up with a miracle. I am reminded that Abraham and Sarah waited well past their 90's to have their promised child. David waited over 15 years to be King after he was anointed as a mere Shepard. The Israelites....well that was kinda their fault they let a 2 week trip take 40 years. But, you catch my drift.

2) Praising Him through my circumstances isn't just a cute thing Christians say. When the rubber met the road and I was so fearful I could barely function God met me and soothed me. When my sister was headed under the knife a week ago I was scared of losing her on the operating table, scared we would be disappointed again, and scared that somehow this just wouldn't work...again. It hit me hard that after I told her I loved her at 7:30 that might be our last conversation…ever. I had to lead worship with all of these thoughts rolling around in my head and to be perfectly honest...I did not feel like singing God's praises at that moment. I would rather have crawled into a ball in my bedroom and cried my eyes out in fear. Instead, my Pastor Tinker saw right through my fear (gotta love discernment) and called attention to it. She pulled me to the front and had everyone pray over my sister and me. Boy did I feel exposed because if you know me at all you know I HATE attention being called to me. Snot and tears flowing Ms. Overly Guarded..."don't let anyone see my true emotions unless it pertains to witnessing" Tanya broke right on down into a pile of mess. Then I had to take the mic and not only sing but lead a band. Well. When the first song started...even after the loving prayers of everyone in that room...I still wanted to run. But, as I sang a funny thing happened. I was enveloped with peace. We sang "Meet With Me by Ten Shekel Shirt" which goes like this:

I'm here to meet with You
Come and meet with me
I'm here to find You
Reveal Yourself to me

As I wait, You make me strong
As I long, draw me to Your arms
As I stand and sing Your praise
You come, You come and You fill this place
Won't you come, Won't you come and fill this place

How completely appropo. I found a comfort and a peace that was so…for lack of better word... surreal. Not 1 second before I started singing had I felt the weight of my own fear. But, as I sang I was just so peaceful. And it followed me even after leaving the stage. I was peaceful from that moment forward knowing that God is Sovereign and in control. How empowering to move out of fear into perfect peace!

3) Never underestimate the power of TRUE friendship. You know? The kind that makes you talk it out when you don't want to? The kind that knows that "I'm ok" is code for "I am about to fall apart so don't let me go". The kind that thinks to buy you a plane ticket and a rental car when you can't afford it to get you home to be with your family. The kind that says they will pray...and actually does it…fervently. The kind that will stay on-line with you til 2am just to make you smile and to be sure you are ok. The kind who has no idea how to comfort you but sends text messages with Scripture and song verses that will minister to your very soul. The kind that lets your room remain a disaster so you can rest (thanks roommie). The kind who loves you enough to allow you to be the weak one...just this once. And...the one who reminds you of your very own words when you feel like giving up. "Hey Tanya, remember the Aaron and Hur story you are always telling? Why don't you let us hold your arms up for a while? You don't have to be the strong one right now. Let us do that for you". The kind who calls just to say " I love you and I'm here when you wanna talk".

4) There is nothing...and I mean nothing better than sleeping on a chair next to your sister in a cold hospital room and knowing that God loves her so much more than you do.

5) Hospital food is the pits.

6) Praising Him doesn't start and end with a miracle. It is praising Him daily with your life....a lifestyle of worship that matters. We can't earn His love. He is love and He will never stop loving us…no matter what we do or who we are. Therefore, our response should be the only thing we can possibly give Him...the Creator of all things...the Lover of my soul...the Healer...the Comforter...My God...we give Him all of ourselves in worship and adoration. Regardless of the circumstances.

So to recap: Miracles Rock but God rocks harder than His miracles.

Thanks to everyone for prayers and support.

Love you guys!

PS: Some folks are asking how to pray right now. Well. Chanda was in a lot of pain and they found out she had fluid around her new kidney. Her kidney is working fine (Praise God!!!) but the fluid is what was causing the unbearable tear-filled pain. They performed a second surgery today and she is in the recovery room at this very moment. Pray for rapid and complete healing. Also, the medications are atrociously expensive. They are $500.00 for 1 month supply and that is with insurance covering $1500.00 already. Now, before you start sending money (I know some of you extravagant givers already have your checkbook in hand) hold on a sec. The Doctors are looking for solutions and are trying to see if they can donate some of the meds. Just pray for that. And finally…my mom is exhausted. She hasn't left my sister's side since I visited and there is no telling when they leave the hospital. She isn't complaining. I mean her kid is alive and well after all. She is completely joyful. But, I hear the strain in her voice. Just pray for rest please. If you have never slept in a hospital chair for over a week…you probably won't understand. Thanks so much.

A Divine Appointment (November 15, 2006)

So, last night I went to an amazing secular concert. Amazing because the musicians were innovative and their God given (whether they recognize that or not) talent was astounding. Amazing because in a world of filth and trash these musicians had something to say and they didn't have to use F bombs and debauchery to accomplish it. And, amazing because in the midst of the chaos in the Norva last night...God spoke to me.

He gave me a word for the opening act and I had no choice but to be obedient. I began to pray as soon as I knew He was calling me...making sure I was humble and contrite. I confessed and repented of any sins I had committed and I approached this stranger at his MERCH table and shared the love of Christ with him. I gave him scripture and I was very specific in how I would pray. I promised him I would continue to pray for him...and I will follow through. He was EXTREMELY receptive and encouraged and even said "I really needed to hear that right now". He admitted that it was hard staying encouraged in Christ on the road. Here was a young man who grew up with the Word who moved from the states to England where he lives now. And God used someone to speak encouragement over him in the most unlikely of places.

So, for all of those people waiting around for God to give you the "perfect" time, the "perfect" place, the "perfect" situation, and the "perfect" words to minister to someone......stop waiting. He may be trying to use you right where you are. Right where you least expect it. And right when that person needs to hear it the most. Regardless what your comfort level is. Trust me… I wasn't feeling overly bold when I approached him. Each time I approach strangers with trepidation and fear...but my desire to obey a God that won't let me down far outweighs my fear and self-doubt in my own abilities to convey Christ's love properly. God gave me the words and the Scripture and all I had to do was open my mouth. As long as you are empowered by the Holy Spirit there is ALWAYS someone you can minister to.

Why am I sharing this? Not because I want kudos or "way to go Tanya's" but because we ALL need to remember (including me) that it isn't always about us and our desires. There is a hurting world out there and as we sit in the pews every Sunday soaking up His Word we need to share it with others. We continuously take and receive the benefits of Christendom but we rarely reach out. We join groups, take leadership and discipleship classes and then we do nothing with what we have learned.

I may have gotten more out of this experience then he did. I learned that in the middle of any situation...I can be used. I learned that I really do need to be "ready in and out of season" because I never know when God will call me to give an account for what I believe.

Love someone out of your circle of friends. Speak encouragement to someone who has different beliefs, orientations, or lifestyles than you. If you don't speak to that person...who will? We all have a sphere of influence and a testimony. The world will reach out to whoever we don't...and the world's voice is loud. How loud is your voice?

Hope this speaks to someone. Be blessed.

Tonight's Sermon (November 30, 2006 )

For a change I think I will try not to be too long winded. I just have to be honest and say that God is working on my heart. I realized through Tinker's sermon tonight that I am critical and judgmental of my fellow Christian because I have taken it upon myself to "save" people in the past rather than just be an example in the way I live, use the Word of God to correct, and love. I have tried in my own power to show people the love of Christ and end up bitter and jaded in the end.

So what was my real intent? To be like Jesus...loving the unloveable, being transparent in my own faults, and ALWAYS pointing people to God the Father. But sometimes it gets lost in translation when I try to do it in my own power.

So, what did I learn tonight above all? I sometimes forget that still small voice the Bible talks about in 1 Kings Chapt 18 forward. I forget to take the plank out of my own eye and admit my faults. I forget that I am only human and can only love. I forget that I need that quiet time (not just devotionals and worship) to truly hear Him.

A year ago God had to take some drastic measures at a revival to get me to hear Him. Now, He is just gently reminding me that I am enough and that His grace should extend through me to others.

Praise God He takes us from glory to glory. He is sure enough NOT done with me yet. I'm not where I want to be but praise God I'm not where I was.

So, my prayer...God remove the critical eye I can sometimes have on my fellow Christian and allow me to see them the way you see them. Give me grace and allow me to see my own faults. In Jesus' name.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you".

Ephesians 4:32

The Book of Philippians: My De-stressor (December 3, 2008)

I have sooooo much to be thankful for. A family I adore. Amazing friends who have literally become extended family. My health and other Maslow's hierarchical type needs are being met. An enormous capacity to love others. Great church. Great boss. And to top it all off: I live in a country where being a Christian isn't illegal. Some of my brothers and sisters around the world live on smuggled Bibles and meet underground. Some are imprisoned. Some are killed just for professing Jesus Christ. I actually have a friend on-line who risks his life just to smuggle Bibles into a certain country every day. Yes martyrs still exist 2000 years later. Look it up (and these are only the ones who disappeared that were reported). http://www.prisoneralert.com/vompw_persecution.htm

So if I am so grateful why is there a knot in my stomach and tension in my neck?

I am working on being content in all things because the stress of the end of the semester, the holidays, and busyness tend to take their toll sometimes. I want to retreat and disappear. I want to throw my phone into the sea, pack it all in, and run away to the mountains to live like Thoreau on Walden Pond.

But then I remember what I am here for and I just look for a way to survive the next wave of anxiety ridden schedules and lists.

In the midst of all this when I focus on Jesus Christ I "get it". He doesn't just merely want me to hang on for dear life. He wants me to thrive...even in the chaos. He wants me to keep my eyes forward and complete the race. There is a reason the Word of God says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God". Phil 4:6 He actually wants to help me get there. To set me up for success not failure. And to teach me choice, balance, and relentless love.

Just as I was sharing with my friend tonight I want so badly to have Paul's attitude in Philippians 4: 11-13

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Or as The Message version so plainly puts it:

"Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am".

You want perspective on this verse? Paul wrote these verses even though he had himself been arrested many times, imprisoned (in fact he was in prison in Rome when he penned this) , beaten, gone hungry, and been stoned. He had gone from being a respected pillar of affluent society and dispenser of Pharasitical Law to being a hated Christian because he had an amazing experience with Christ that changed his life. He went from persecutor or Christians to a persecuted Christian himself. And yet he still wrote these words. He learned to be ok no matter what the circumstances not based on his own power but on God.

So...as I go to bed early to get up and finish a dreaded paper with deadlines and craziness all about me...I strive for contentment because I am blessed beyond what the world can measure.

"This world has nothing for me"

"See how the apostle would bid us throw anxiety to the winds; let us try to do so. You cannot turn one hair white or black, fret as you may. You cannot add a cubit to your stature, be you as anxious as you please. It will be for your own advantage, and it will be for God's glory for you to shake off the anxieties which else might overshadow your spirit. Be anxious about nothing, but prayerful about everything, and be thankful about everything as well. Is not that a beautiful trait in Paul's character? He is a prison at Rome, and likely soon to die; yet he mingles thanksgiving with his supplication, and asks others to do the same. We have always something for which to thank God, therefore let us also obey the apostolic injunction".
Charles Spurgeon

Broken (December 10, 2006)

Nehemiah 2:2

"Therefore the king said to me, "Why is your face sad, since you are not sick? This is nothing but sorrow of heart.?"

Proverbs 15:13

"A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance,
But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"

I asked myself today why I write blogs and I've decided that I share so much of myself and try to be transparent so that people can see that even though I love Jesus Christ with all that I am...sometimes I struggle. I have had some amazing highs while writing these blogs...but I have also has some extreme lows and I pray that I represent it all with truth and integrity. When you choose to walk with God (and yes it is a choice) that doesn't mean consequences vanish and you become rich. The Bible assures that we will suffer...but we have a hope and an assurance of coming out on the other side of it free. As Christians we are afforded eternal salvation but we are also promised that God is with us and we are never alone.

That being said yesterday I had the opportunity to spend my Birthday doing what I love...reaching out to people. I went to an outreach in a economically challenged neighborhood that my church has "adopted". We go there monthly to give away clothing, toys, food, and to minister to the residents in prayer. I spent most of the day with children longing to be loved and families in need.

I also spent the evening at a leadership event for the Young Adult group I belong to. We ministered to one another by going around the room and sharing encouraging words about one another and how we have changed one another's lives. It was very...uplifting and warm.

But, then I got home and pulled an Elijah (if you aren't familiar with the story read 1 Kings 17-19 then talk to me about it. But basically God uses this man to perform incredible miracles but after amazing success the guy gets depressed and fearful and runs away to hide. Sidebar: I love that the Bible has real people I can relate to as examples of who God wants to speak through). I was so low and so down about the fact that I am 32 and not at all where I thought I would be in my life. I allowed myself to have a pity party. I relived past mistakes. Everything that I perceive as horrible about myself surfaced and was magnified. I felt vulnerable, unworthy of goodness, and like I believed myself to be a huge failure who would never make a real difference in the world. Now just a few short hours prior people had acknowledged me and shown me amazing love and here I was giving myself the exact opposite. So what did I do? In my effort to prove I had some sort of redeeming value or to feel loved I tried to reach out for comfort, acknowledgement, or assurance and I ended up feeling more rejected and hurt and actually started crying. Yup. Crying my eyes out on my birthday because I perceived myself to be a useless loser whom people couldnt be bothered with.

Then it happened. A friend of mine and I began to chat on IM and she called me out. I was giving all the standard answers to the "how are you's" and "how was your days" and the Holy Spirit gave her discernment that something wasn't right in Whoville. She began to "read my mail" and speak to the discouragement I felt...without me uttering a single word about how terrible I really felt. Then she began to pray the Word of God over me and speak into my life. She challenged me to get into the Word and see who God saw me as. Funny. In a single day I had listened to how people saw me and then reverted back to a slanted view of how I saw myself. But, not once had I wondered how God saw me!

As I began to seek Him and scripture I realized my error. I sought man before I sought God. It was a rookie Christian mistake straight outta Christianity 101 ...one which as a "veteran Christian" I should have known better right? I made the classic blunder that I am always counseling everyone else against...and my friend was actually using my words and scripture I had given countless times to others to comfort them in similar situations in the past.

So, what did I learn from all of this:

1) As a leader, someone strong in their faith, and someone who loves deeply...I am NOT exempt from struggle. Pretty simple statement right? But, sometimes being in ministry you get prideful. You've heard it all and you can spit out the answers faster than anyone. But, sometimes the past comes back and you replay those old tapes in your mind of who you used to be before you met God. And you fall down broken from the weight of it all. It takes humility to admit you are hurting when others normally look to you for answers. And it is ok. As long as you don't stay there long and you get back up and remember who you are in Christ.

2) I have learned something new about stress patterns in my life. Lack of sleep+busyness+stress equals no good for Tanya. It's the Holidays, exams, and I am running around not taking care of me. That did not cause but did exacerbate all of my pity partyness. I need to learn to slow down, say no to some things, and learn that I am worthy of taking care of me too. If I don't it is easier for those old tapes to catch me when I least expect it and pounce on me sending me into some sort of depression thing. That is not what Jesus died for. The Bible says He came to give me abundant life and I don't have to accept anything less. When I don't take care of myself...I become ineffective in protecting myself and ineffective in ministering to others.

3) Old habits die hard. When you are feeling low NEVER NEVER NEVER rely on friends to pull you out. I know this so why do I fall back into that sometimes? I tried to receive human comfort and love and instead got hurt. Why? Because people will always let you down. It is a fact of life. They are human with their own needs and problems and it is no one else's responsibility to make me feel good about me. I know my friends love me and care about me. But expecting them to make me feel whole and ok about myself is not fair. It is a choice to seek God first. He is the only one who will bring true peace...not as the world gives but something constant and not based on how He is feeling. I will never go to God with hurt and pain and hear Him say "Tanya I am too depressed to help you with your depression so come back tomorrow" or "Tanya I am too busy talking to more important people than you to acknowledge your pain…try me again in a few hours and maybe I will be done". As my friends are fond of repeating "Your post-it note has not fallen off of God's "To Do List". He will ALWAYS give me what I need and that is His job...no one else's.

4) No matter how blessed I am or how great life is...I will ALWAYS face trials. James 1:2-5 says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything". I didn't feel like a failure because I don't love God or because I didn't do enough good deeds yesterday. We will go through stuff in life. No one is exempt. And even though my sister has a kidney, I have friends, family, a job I enjoy etc does not mean that I will never experience emotional setbacks. It's what I do when I experience them that matters.

5) I am so grateful for friends that hold me accountable and lift my arms up when I grow weary. Yes I did just explain above that we are to go to God first...not humans. But, I am so blessed to have friends who would look past my need to be comforted and lead me right to the true Comforter Himself. Thank you June.

I am blessed to have friends I can brag on. Friends who are supportive and loving...but refuse to let me wallow.

I am not where I wanna be tonight...but I am not where I was last night. "Weeping may last for the night...but joy cometh in the morning." Thank you Jesus for walking me through another valley to a mountaintop. I am looking forward to the view.

Gone, Gone, Gone...It's all Gone (December 10, 2006)

Gone, Gone, Gone it's ALL GONE...

If you know anything at all about me you know that music is like breath or water for me...a necessity. The current song on my profile is related to my last blog on many levels. Funny I didnt stop to listen to it that night. I also think it's cool that the lyric I highlighted in red below is so fitting today. Yesterday is so gone. Thank you Jesus for your faithfullness. As long as I keep my eyes on You I can weather any storm. The circumstances are still there...but the peace, joy, contentment, and the fire You afford me is...awe inspiring. The view on the way up this mountaintop is breath-taking!

NOTE: I know we are always joking about how Kirk Franklin talks in all of his songs while his very talented singers do all the work. But, I can tell you that what ministered to me most (besides the simplistic piano part which I love) was Kirk's talking at the end. I know. I know! Give a listen and even if this isnt your usual musical style you will still be ministered to in some way cause this song is anointed. Thanks again Kristen for bringing it to my attention.

Imagine Me

Imagine me loving what I see when the mirror looks at me cause I

I imagine me in a place, of no insecurities and I'm finally happy cause I...

I imagine me letting go of all of the ones who hurt me cause they never did deserve me,

Can you imagine me saying no to thoughts that try to control me, remembering all you told me,

Lord, can you imagine me over what my momma said and healed from what my daddy did and I wanna live and not read that page again.

(Chorus)
Imagine me, being free, trusting You totally, finally I can imagine me,

I admit it was hard to see You being in love with someone like me, finally I can imagine me.

Imagine me being strong and not letting people break me down, you won't get that joy this time around.

Can you imagine me in a world, where nobody has to live afraid, because of Your love, fear's gone away,

Can you imagine me letting go of my past and glad I have another chance and not hard to dance cause I don't have to read that page again.

(Repeat Chorus 2x's)

Kirk talks:
This song is dedicated to people like me, those that struggle with insecurities, acceptance and even self-esteem. You never felt good enough. You never felt pretty enough. But imagine God whispering in your ear letting you know that everything that has happened is now.

Gone, Gone, Gone,

Its' Gone, All Gone

Kirk's remarks
Oh It's All Gone. Every Sin, Every Mistake, Every Failure Its' All Gone!
Depression Gone By Faith It's Gone
Low Self Esteem, Halleluiah Its Gone, All Gone,
It's Gone All My Scars All My Pain It's In The Past , Its' Yesterday Its' All Gone Can't Believe Its' Gone) What Your Mother Did, What your Father Did, Halleluiah (Its' Gone All Gone)