Happy Valentine's Day...Your car just blew up (February 14, 2007)

I was driving down the road singing Chris Tomlin's "How Great is Our God" at the top of my lungs totally having a Tanya/Jesus moment when I notice billowy clouds. They turned out to be clouds of smoke coming out of my Mustang. And guess what? I am still smiling. Smiling because God is amazing. My car could have broke down in Norfolk today near ODU, or anywhere else completly inconvenient. But, instead I was passing the mechanic I use regularly and within walking distance from work. The parts are cheap and June drove me home. I call that an amazing thing God did to care for me today.

So...this Valentine's Day thing has bummed out many of my friends but I refuse to be a brooding single gal. I am so blessed! I have enjoyed watching friends who are blessed with someone to love getting down right giddy and I cant help but be happy for them. I love...love (1 Corin 13).

Also, I have been focusing on how Christ sees me and who I am in Him lately. If you listen to my current profile song "The Measure of Beauty" it pretty much sums up how loved and adored I am. And that is such an amazing feeling. I've spent years complaining about this day because I have NEVER had a good romantic one. Seriously, when I was married my ex-husband always forgot and never made an effort. When I was dating my ex-boyfriend thought a great gift for me would be coming home drunk with a tattoo of my name on his back. And, most of the other years I felt lonely, rejected, or less than. And now, here I am single and smiling. I had this to say to a friend who says they hate Valentine's Day:

"I've always had that attitude because I have NEVER had a nice Valentines Day. But, this year I choose to see it as a blessing. God is allowing me to be single for a reason right now and although I dont know what that is...I am content to wait on Him. For too long in my life I chased, looked, searched...to the point of exhaustion. I watched friends have beautiful lasting relationships and I wondered why I couldnt find it. But, I refuse to speak death over myself and not recognize my blessings anymore on Valentine's Day. I choose life and truth. The Bible says that "the power of life and death is in the tongue" so I speak life over my singlesness. I am strinving to see how God can use it to further His kingdom. If I were married right now I could never run off to Africa and fulfill life time dreams. I wouldnt be as involved in ministry. And I would be less involved with my friends (scary thought cause I see them so rarely with school..imagine if it were worse).

People that are couples...healthy couples are blessed and I am so happy for them. They can work as a team to fulfill God's promises. But, a relationship does not equal wholeness in self. I am whole and complete and happy with who I am. When he comes along...I will be ready. But for now I choose to enjoy my singleness and press into the plan God has.

So...this Valentines Day...I choose to love me, love my friends, love my family and be incredibly happy for those who have found that special person in their lives. I am blessed by seeing them happy...and knowing that my time too will come.

So...let's make Valentines Day about love...friends, family, friends who are family...and not about the commercialized stuff Hallmark endorses. Just like Christmas. I hate the commercialization...and the fact that Jesus was actually born in the summer...but I love what it represents. The birth of Christ, the redemption of the World (if they choose), and immense, over-powering, unimaginable love. Valentines Day should be everyday. Telling people you love and care about them unconditionally. That's what I choose to make this Valentine's Day too.

So...if you need a lil pick me up and you're feeling a wee bit lonely...listen to my profile song. Also...watch the video under the "Who I'd like to Meet" section on my profile. You will smile at the end.

Love y'all!